Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
