i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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