She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
