just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
