So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize