So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
