Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
