Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
