That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
