he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize