I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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