you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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