sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
