how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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