you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize