Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
