I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
