dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
