with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
and you fell through a lawn chair
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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