this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
