they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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