I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
