Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
