he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize