I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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