Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
