worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
