First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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