The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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