fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck me I smell like cheese
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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