doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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