Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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