Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
