Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
