A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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