i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize