My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
