I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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