No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
