Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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