hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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