Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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