there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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