if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
