Betty ford says i'm here all night
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were trust falling into bushes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
