okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So much Jack, so little girl.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
