I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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