ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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