She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
