i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
