You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
