I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize