just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
