If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish you could order shots online.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
