theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
