he shaved USA in his pubs
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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