i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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