if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do vagina's smell?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
