You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
